


A Jester's Court

by rotissereriechicken



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF, The Creatures | Cow Chop RPF, Twitch Streamer RPF, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Fake AH Crew, Heist, Shipping If You Squint, kidnapped character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 20:34:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29213511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rotissereriechicken/pseuds/rotissereriechicken
Summary: “You think they’re talking about Jeremy yet?”“Obviously Michael, that’s why we’re here. You think they’re talking about the last episode of Downton Abbey?”“Say that again Fifi and I’ll beat you up right here and now.”
Comments: 13
Kudos: 28





	1. chapter one

**Author's Note:**

> no proofreading/betas, we die like men

Jack scanned the room, her eyes catching on each crew member a moment longer than anyone else in the bar. She leaned back against the bar, the music in the club overpowered the sound of the crew in her ear who were currently bantering over whether their target was going to show up or not.

 _“Maybe we shouldn’t call him a target and he’ll appear,”_ Trevor suggested over comms. Jack looked over to him, watching him as he faked a conversation with Fiona. 

Fiona shrugged, motioning with her drink, _“What do you suggest we call him then? A no-show?”_

 _“How about a potential ally?”_ Geoff cut in and then comms went quiet. _“If you guys stopped being so obvious and knew how to hide in plain sight then maybe he’d show up. You’re all awful at this.”_

 _“I’m not even there!”_ Matt pointed out. The tech genius had opted to stay back at the penthouse and monitor the cameras in and around the club.

Alfredo jumped in, _“I thought this guy was introverted, why did he ask to meet you at a crowded bar?”_

The crew went silent once more as the front door opened, waiting to see who would join them in the bar. Everyone’s demeanor changed as the flash of red came into view, the smile on his face as he walked towards Geoff had everyone on edge.

Jack shifted on her feet, sipping her water as she followed the man’s pathing through the room. He stopped by the table, pulled out the chair, and sat down in front of their boss. 

“Chilled Chaos, it’s been awhile.”

“It has, it has! How is everyone?” Chilled asked. His voice was quieter than Geoff’s but still distinguishable.

Michael made a noise, _“This guy from the east coast?”_

 _“Don’t know,”_ Fiona answered.

“They’re good,” Geoff finally said, his hands shifting on the table.

Chilled nodded slowly before leaning forward, “Can you do us both a favor and turn that hand-dandy mic off? I don’t want our friends listening in on us.”

 _"Don't do it,"_ Jack said, snapping to attention at the request.

“Of course I can,” Geoff said, fiddling with the buttons and turning off his connection to the rest of his crew. 

Trevor whipped his head up to meet Jack. She stood as straight as a board, a hand resting on the gun in her belt. _“Jack, no. Geoff knows what he’s doing.”_

 _“Does he?_ ” Matt mumbled.

Chilled smiled, “Thank you! Means a lot to me, now we can talk about why you _really_ wanted to meet with me, right?”

Geoff reached for his glass of water, “Right. I need your help with something.”

“Does it have anything to do with a certain purple and orange friend of ours?” Chilled folded his hands over the table in front of him. “Cause I heard from the grapevine that they got themselves into some trouble again.”

“If only it was that easy,” Geoff sighed. The older man deflated in his seat, “We haven’t heard from Jeremy in months, and we both know they’re not the type to go MIA.” Chilled nodded, Geoff continued. “Last we heard from them, they weren’t doing so hot.”

“Troubling enough to put your alliance with me on the line, you and I both know how dangerous it is for me to make a public showing.” Chilled looked around the room, “Your friends aren’t very good at remaining hidden.”

“They’re not, no.” Geoff said. “I didn’t want to drag you into this but-”

_“You think they’re talking about Jeremy yet?”_

_“Obviously Michael, that’s why we’re here. You think they’re talking about the last episode of Downton Abbey?”_

_“Say that again Fifi and I’ll beat you up right here and now.”_

_“Settle down, Christ.”_

“-and obviously you understand why we can’t do that at this moment.” Geoff finished.

Chilled frowned, “After such a public stunt of that nature, yes, it is rather dangerous to put your name back out there again. So you’re using me to do your dirty work?”

“Not you in particular-” A flash of red had Geoff backpedaling, “You have a sniper set up?”

“You think I’d come here with no backup after the stunt you guys pulled the last time I was involved? Hell yeah I have a sniper set up,” Chilled said, a smile tugging at his lips. “Now back to the dirty work inquiry, you want me to use my resources and outsource someone _else_ to do it?”

_“Hey Jack-”_

_“Yes I saw it,”_ Jack said over comms, following where the red dot came from. _“Michael, I want you to go take him out.”_

 _“On it,”_ Michael said, disappearing into the crowd. 

Trevor slipped through the people until he stood next to Jack. “Do you think Chilled would kill Geoff like that?”

“Who’s to say?”

 _“What floor would you say that came from?”_ Michael asked over the radio. 

Jack gauged the other building from the window, _“Third or fourth, north facing window.”_

“Chilled’s smart, he would know that's a bad idea.” Trevor said offhandedly.

Geoff clenched his fist around his glass, “I’m not asking you to put anyone in particular in danger, I just need a clean kill of this guy otherwise he’s going to continue to use Jeremy as a bargaining chip and bleed us dry. We can’t suffer a loss like this after all that.”

“Obviously.” Chilled said. He hummed, “What’s your plan then? To take out Mr. Monopoly?”

Michael hurried up the stairs to the fourth floor, the third floor sweep proving no one was there. The abandoned building creaked under his footsteps till he reached the landing. He held his gun tightly, finger on the trigger guard. Michael reached up and pressed his comm button, _“Shoot on sight?”_

 _“Disarm, not to kill.”_ Jack said.

Michael nodded, eyes scanning each room for the sniper, _“Understood.”_ He turned into a room, seeing a sniper rifle in a stand, pointed towards the club. “Alright coward, can’t handle the smoke-” The sound of a gun cocking echoed in the room and the muzzle of one pressed itself to the back of Michael’s head. “Sonovabitch-”

Jack tapped her foot on the ground, _“Michael, check in. Find anyone?”_ The sound of static was Jack’s response. She cursed, turning to Trevor. “Alright genius, what now?”

Geoff leaned forward in his chair. “He has constant protection around him, at all times. He parades Jeremy around as well, using them as a stopgate. We can’t get a good shot on him without also hurting Jeremy in the process.” 

“Obviously,” Chilled muttered, leaning across the table as well. He was meeting him halfway, a good indicator, Geoff noted.

“We don’t have enough manpower to rush the building without being brought down, none of our snipers can get a cleanshot. We have nothing at the moment, no plan.”

_“Matt, can you track where Michael’s comm went?”_ Trevor asked over the radio.

Matt sighed, _“No, I have it’s last ping in a hallway across the street but I lose it after that.”_

Jack looked back over to Fiona and Alfredo, where they had convened. She clenched her jaw as another red dot flashed into the building, no one else noticing over the rave lights. _“Alfredo, Fiona, did you see where that came from?”_

 _“Not where the last one was, do you think he moved?”_ Alfredo commented.

Trevor shook his head, _“There was no way they had the time to move that fast, second sniper?”_

 _“If the sniper left when the first light was called, they could have had time to get out of dodge and get to a new position. It’s their job to know their surroundings.”_ Alfredo said. He motioned to Fiona for her to follow, _“Fiona and I will go check it out.”_

 _“Watch each other’s backs, we shouldn’t have sent Michael alone.”_ Jack said.

Alfredo nodded, _“Understood.”_

“How much backup did you bring with you?” Geoff asked. The second red light did not go unnoticed by the front runner of the Fakes. 

Chilled shrugged, “That’s for you to find out.” He shifted in his seat, “How much would you pay for our help?”

“Our?” Geoff asked.

“I’m flattered you think I’m smart enough on my own to coordinate an entire heist, but I’m sure my friends could provide some helpful insight that I can’t.” Chilled said. “Payment?”

Geoff shot a glance at Jack, “What do you want?”

Alfredo walked ahead of Fiona, “You take the third floor, I take the fourth?”

“That’s how we get got, we have to move together.” Fiona said, following Alfredo up the stairs to the third floor. “It’s only one sniper, and you know for a fact they’re shit at close range. If anything, I’ll use you as a distraction.”

“Thanks,” Alfredo rolled his eyes. They continued in mutual silence, soft footsteps down the hallway as they checked each room. He peeked into a room, pointing his gun towards the large mass by the window. It didn’t move as Alfredo and Fiona advanced, Fiona reached forward and tugged the mass back. A stack of cardboard boxes and rubble fell onto the ground and off the sniper mount.

“The fuck?” Alfredo said, looking up from the mess to Fiona. His reaction time was slower than normal as a pair of arms wrapped around her neck. He pulled his gun up to shoot at the assailant only for his legs to fall out from under him and his head to smacked the ground.

Chilled considered something for a moment, tapping his fingers on the table. He finally seemed to reach an offer as he looked up to Geoff. “Protection for me, money for the others.”

“What do you need protection for?” Geoff asked.

“That’s for you to learn later, obviously if me and my friends fuck this up I don’t want to give you any ideas for revenge.” He offered. “And as for money, you’d have to talk to them about that. Each of them have their own prices for things.”

Geoff nodded. “Of course. I think we can make that work."

"What day would you want to meet to talk about this in more detail?" Chilled asked.

"Tomorrow?"

"I'm sure I can make that work," Chilled said, smiling. "It's been nice talking to you."

"And you, the same." Geoff glanced about the room again, noting the lack of his crew members. "How badly did you hurt them?"

"Minor injuries, shouldn't take that long to heal." Chilled shrugged.

Michael pried his eyes open, taking in his surroundings. The first thing he noticed was the man in the room, taking the rifle apart and putting it away. "Who the fuck?" Michael slurred out, his head pounding and the corners of his vision blurring. 

The man turned to look at him, his features indistinguishable. "Oh you're not supposed to be awake yet." 

"Huh?" 

A knock at the door, another person leaning in, "Hey Toast, the other two are downstairs already. You good to go?"

The man in the room motioned to Michael, "Can you deal with him? I won't be that far behind." 

The other hummed, "He's awake?"

"Won't be for long."

Michael blinked a few times as his vision started to black out, blurring at the edges even more, and the rhythmic thumping in his head lulled him back into sleep.


	2. chapter two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol I'm currently quitting my job so I decided to slap an update on this bad boy. my work was the reason I hadn't updated, I was so busy I had no time to proofread or rewrite or anything so if this is bad I'm so sorry
> 
> thank you for the kind comments btw!!

Michael made a noise of protest as his body was moved. "Who-"

"Quiet, you'll be fine." The voice of his spouse echoed in his head. "Took a nasty blow though, Fiona and Alfredo weren't nearly as bad."

"Gun," Michael mumbled, motioning to his head. "Fought back."

Lindsay shook their head before leaning down and pressing a light kiss to his hairline. "What a big strong man you were." Their voice was teasing in nature which had Michael grumbling.

Fiona opened the door to the conference room, "Mikey J! What happened to you? You looked like you got put in a meat grinder dude, it was nasty."

"Whoever took him down had to be strong as fuck," Alfredo said, leaning against the door frame, an ice pack to his temple.

Michael motioned to him, "Why's he got an ice pack and I don't!" Lindsay laughed before passing a bag of ice over to Michael.

Alfredo flubbed over his words for a moment before throwing his hands in the air, "Dude I got pistol whipped!"

“Oh yeah, and I didn’t?” Michael challenged. Alfredo rolled his eyes before moving out into the hallway.

Fiona sighed, before looking back up at Michael, “Geoff has us in the second conference room right now, we’re meeting with the guys who will help us get Jeremy back. He wanted us to fetch you both.”

“Be right there,” Lindsay mumbled, helping Michael to his feet.

It took an extra minute to get Michael into the conference room, his legs unsteady under him as his head throbbed. The bright white lights above did not service any help as the doors opened in front of them. As his vision came back to him, Michael looked up to see the people who offered their help only to feel his constant rage flare up at the sight of one of them standing there, talking like he didn’t beat the shit out of Michael the night before.

“Aye, asshole!” Michael called out, and now all eyes were on him. Geoff’s head fell into his hands as a smile crossed the other guy's face.

The man’s silhouette was not as terrifying as it was the night prior. The backlight from the club gave him the ounce of anonymity he needed to insight some fear in Michael but now he looked like any other man on the street. He’d pass for military if not for the ‘While you're off serving our country, I’m fucking your wife’ t-shirt underneath the jacket that was clinging onto his broad shoulders. He raised an eyebrow at Michael, the smile on his face had Michael’s blood boiling, “Can I help you?”

Michael narrowed his eyes, challenged by the nonchalant nature to the bastard. He stepped closer to the other guy, sizing him up. “What the fuck is your deal, huh? Threatening to shoot me in the head point blank, throwing me into the floor enough times for a concussion and now you expect me to just roll over when you decide to help us? Uh-uh, I’ll kick your fucking ass right here, right now.”

There was an exasperated sigh from someone else in the room followed by a, “Toast, what did you do?”

“I like the fact you think you’re threatening me as if I don’t bench thrice your weight,” He said, a faint humor to his voice. However, if you asked Michael, it wasn’t humor it was pure narcissism.

“Muscle mass means nothing if you don’t know what to do with it,” Michael returned, snapping at Toast as if they were dogs.

Unlike you would with a dog fight, Chilled, who had a lot more confidence than Michael assumed he’d have, stepped in between the two. He put a hand on Toast’s chest- an underhanded remark that if anyone had to be held back it was Toast not Michael- and lightly pushed the other man back. “Look here knock-off Mario, you want to throw some hands. I'll gladly knock your ass to the ground,” Michael said.

“Knock it off, right fucking now,” Jack said, pulling out her mom voice. “Michael, sit down.”

Michael turned to look at her, receiving one of the hardest glares he’s ever gotten in his life. With a tail tucked between his legs, Michael backed off and sat down next to Gavin. The brit shot him a quizzical look as Geoff stood up and commanded attention. 

The older man rubbed at his forehead, sighing deeply. “Toast, I’m sorry about that.”

“No problem, we all got those muzzled dogs we forget to lock up every once and awhile,” Toast said, waving off Geoff as if he was just another man. 

“Thank you,” Geoff said. He turned to his friends, solidifying a resolve that isn’t normally present. “As you all know, last night was the dictionary definition of a mess. Michael, Fiona and Alfredo got injured, and we might as well have worn neon signs that read ‘Fake AH Crew here!’ because that’s how obvious everyone was in that club. I know subtlety isn’t our forte but Christ guys.”

The rest of the crew looked between each other, embarrassment covered their faces. Gavin, who was not present the night before, reached over and rubbed Michael’s shoulder. Michael jerked his arm away, his face bright red as he glared across the room. 

Geoff shot Michael a look, “However, any malicious intent that was present last night is no longer relevant in our current situation. These guys are our allies as of this moment. Act civilly for once in your goddamn life.”

Everyone spared Michael a quick glance before looking back to Geoff. The older man looked over to Chilled, “You should go ahead and take over before I have an ulcer.”

The brunet nodded, his hair sticking up as he reached up and fixed his hat. He stepped up to the plate, offering the room a look over. He looked a lot different in the conference room lighting than the club from the prior night. “As you all know, I’m Chilled. I’ve been pretty obnoxious with my presence in Los Santos since my arrival here, however you might not be entirely up-to-date with what exactly I do.” Chilled side-eyed the people he brought with him, gaining Michael’s attention. 

Michael went down the line-up, sizing each person up with his eyes. A red knit hat with devil horns sat on the first guy’s head, then it was Toast, followed up by an Elton John impersonator, a girl with her dyed blonde hair pulled into a beanie and finally another girl who couldn’t possibly have a kill to her name. 

Chilled continued, “I’m the hub for all the mercenaries and free-lancers in the area, whether that be snipers, close combat, interrogators or hackers. I have hands and eyes everywhere, so don’t double cross me later.” Hard to tell if it was a joke or a legitimate threat. “Geoff asked me to find some of my best and help get our friend back, and that’s what I'm here to do with the help of my colleagues.” Chilled passed the attention off to his cohorts.

The man in the red hat stood up, tilting his head down slightly in a bow. “Hi, I’m Ze.” And as quickly as the introduction started it ended as he sat back down.

“I’m Toast,” the blond stated, waving his hand.

John Elton’s twin adjusted his glasses, “Tom Fawkes, you all know me.” Nobody caught the humor in his tone besides Matt who frowned at the comment.

"You can call me Tay," the blonde girl said, tilting her beanie as if it was a brimmed hat.

“Howdy! I’m Shubble, but most of my friends call me Shelby!” The brunette said, her voice had a cheerful lilt that made it pleasant to listen to.

The Fake’s went around with a quick intro, public and private name alongside pronouns. After all was said and done, attention went back to Geoff and Chilled who stood at the white board.

Geoff tapped the board before turning back to the Fake’s, “Now let’s go over the plan.”


	3. chapter three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oooooweeeee here we go again

Chilled stepped away from the board, giving Geoff control of the room once more. He didn't want to pose a threat to the Fake's and giving their boss the floor was the only way to dissolve any animosity in the room. 

Geoff pulled Trevor up to the back towards the wipe board, the two worked seamlessly with each other which was going to be helpful in the long run.

Trevor pointed to the print out of the maps, "These are the original blueprints of Hughes' main building. We had a couple of plans based off of these that could have possibly worked if we had some fairy dust and eye's of newt, but we scrapped them to come up with something better." Trevor shot a glance over to Ze, which had Chilled shifting on his feet. Even if the intentions were friendly, every interaction between the Fake's had an air of danger to it. Trevor flipped over the whiteboard, revealing the intricate map and floor plans that Ze had grabbed in his initial sweep of Hughes' building.

The Fake's all looked between each other as Trevor pointed to each image, "Lucky for us we waited because those blueprints were decoys and this is what the actual layout of the building is. None of the important rooms have windows that could easily be accessed by snipers, and there would be too many civilian casualties to bum-rush the place."

Geoff nodded, "So Chilled, Trevor and I have come up with a one shot, one opportunity plan. There are no reruns, if we fuck this up all of us are losing something."

Chilled heard the shuffle of chairs behind him before a hand grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back. Ze's voice was quiet compared to the murmur of the room, "Is he serious?"

"We're already taking a risk working for them in this state, might as well put something at stake." Chilled mumbled, watching as the plan was laid out in front of everyone.

"If you fucking die, I'll kick your ass in hell." Ze whispered, anger saturating each word. 

Geoff turned to look at them, titling his head at the two before moving down the rest of the table. "Chilled is being generous enough to let us work with him. And as much as it is a risk for us, it's an even bigger risk for Chilled to outsource help to us. However, for this plan and those involved that will help us get Jeremy back, I'd like to extend a gratuitous thank you."

Chilled nodded before shooting a glance to Tom, who returned it with a quirked eyebrow.

_ Anthony closed the doors of his office, twisting the lock before taking a seat behind his desk. _

_ Despite the rumors spread about him, he would not call himself one of the smartest in his group. Sighing, he reached forward, pressing the speed dial for Tom's cell. _

_ "Hello, to what do I owe this time to talk to my favorite friend," Tom's voice came in through the speaker. _

_ He chuckled at the jab, reaching up and taking off his hat before placing it on his desk. "You're good at planning things right? Could you help me with something?" _

_ "Of course buddy, what's up?" _

“We love to say that everyone is equal in helping out on extractions and heists but this is one of the few that only a select few will be a part of,” Geoff explained. “Michael, Gavin, and Jack will be those few.”

Gavin and Michael knocked fists, a smirk crossing the latter’s face. 

Trevor continued, “So let’s explain those roles that way everyone else can spend the next few days relaxing or preparing for the worst.” He tapped the board with a marker, written in scrawled handwriting was everyone’s roles. “I didn’t write this so bear with me while I try to decipher it.”

“Michael will be back-up muscle, Gavin and Jack will be flying helicopters slash getaway vehicles. Within the building itself we really only needed to send in myself, Shubble and Tay.” Chilled piped up, now leaning against the table beside Ze. 

Geoff nodded, letting the information soak into the room before continuing. “Myself and Trevor will be here monitoring everything going on through comms controlled by yours truly, Matt and Ze.”

A frown crossed Matt’s face as he thought about sharing his workspace before it disappeared as he realized that having Ze beside him would be more beneficial than detrimental. He raised his hand, “Does that include monitoring footage from Hughes’ building, garage, etcetera? Or is it just comms?”

“If you think you can access the cameras, go ahead.” Geoff said, giving permission to Matt. “Any eyes we have inside is better than going in blind.”

Michael’s hand went up, “Cool, so it’s just going to be us but what about those guys?” He motioned towards Chilled and friends.

Chilled sighed, reaching up to fix his hat even though it wasn’t out of place. “Tay and Shubble will be our initial way into the building. This extraction is being disguised as a meeting between me as a potential client, and Hughes. Like I said, my presence here has been obnoxious but a crime boss like Hughes would realize how beneficial it would be to have me on his side.” 

Tay leaned forward on the table, “So am I stealing or?”

“You’re going to help Shubble by walking us through the building, security parameters, things that the cameras and files wouldn’t be able to pick up on.” Trevor explained, spinning the marker in his hand. “On top of that, on extraction day, you’re going to help us get rid of Hughes entirely. But we can cover that later.”

Shubble nodded, rapping her knuckles on the table as Tay smiled, “Hell yeah.”

Michael rolled his eyes, “All of this hinges on the idea that Hughes would  _ want  _ Chilled’s help, how certain are we that he’s ok with doing the meeting?”

“That would be an issue if I hadn’t had Shubble call to schedule a meeting next Thursday at 3:30 PM.” Chilled said. “She made it very clear that her and my ‘other assistant’ would be going on my behalf to check out the place and see if ‘it’s worth my time’.”

“Sure, what about everyone else?” Michael continued. He had tried to sow doubt into everyone else’s mind that they needed Chilled’s help. Michael wanted to run this by himself and get Jeremy out of there, something that he was certain he could do without 80 different people in his ass. The morning that Geoff had said he called up Chilled, Michael had left the penthouse in a huff. The next time anyone saw him was when they had to pick him up from the car wreck down by Chiliad. 

Trevor cleared his throat, “Give it time, let’s slow walk this. If we can get through the first meeting without injury then we can grill about positions during the actual heist.”

“We decided to bring this to you now rather than later so everyone would have a grasp on the situation,” Geoff said, bringing all attention to him once again. The leader of the Fake’s could command a room like no one else that Chilled knew and it would consistently surprise him. “The moral support from everyone in this room not directly involved with the heist will be extremely appreciated. As for the ones involved, strict cooperation will not be asked for but expected. If you decide to act out and ruin this then consider yourself out of a job.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for the nice comments by the way, I appreciate and reread each of them I can just never come up with a good response :(


	4. chapter four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter will be more plot related, I wrote this and simply vibed

As the heist was prepped for, Chilled’s group and the Fake’s mingled more and more. There was an eight day countdown before the big meeting and each day that passed was spent in the huge penthouse owned by the Fakes.

The first two days were quiet, almost no talking between anyone. There was an expected hatred brewing between Toast and Michael, as the hot-head was goaded on by the sniper.

Day three seemed to be the breaking point.

Matt had woken up first, that in itself should have been an identifier that it was going to be a weird day. He put on a pot of coffee before grabbing an energy drink from the fridge. A few silent moments passed as Matt scrolled through his phone, waiting for the waffles in the toaster, before someone new walked into the kitchen area.

Ze, wearing the same grey jacket from the past four days and jeans, shuffled in. Following closely behind was Chilled, who was mumbling to himself- or maybe to Ze, Matt couldn’t tell. The two stood beside the coffee pot, waiting in hushed words for the beeping of the keurig. Matt watched, noting that Chilled didn’t actually get himself a cup and instead poured one for Ze as the latter hummed a muted tune to whatever was said. 

The noise of the toaster going off startled the three standing there, having fallen into a too comfortable silence. Matt mumbled an apology before grabbing a plate and his food.

“Damn, who made coffee?” A new voice asked, one immediately recognized as Toast. If the shouting matches between him and Michael had one benefit, it meant being able to recognize the man before seeing him.

“Matt put it on before I got here,” Ze mumbled, nursing the warm cup in his hands. “Thanks by the way.”

“No problem,” Matt said before shoveling a forkful of waffles into his mouth.

Toast laughed, moving past Matt to get into the fridge. As he did so Michael and Gavin wandered into the kitchen.

At this point, Matt decided to leave. Too many cooks in the kitchen? Rather, too many idiots in one room. Knowing this confrontation would lead to a fight, Matt moved towards the exit, grip tight on his plate of toaster waffles.

Michael made a noise, “You goin’ through our fridge? Did you ask?”

Toast turned to look at Michael, two eggs in hand, “It’s been three days of me going through your fridge, I assume at this point it's fine. Otherwise, I’d have been stopped way sooner.”

Michael huffed, shoving Matt back into the kitchen and right into Chilled. “You should’ve asked first, we don’t label shit and you don’t know whose is what in there, dude.” His tone wasn’t as pissy as any of the prior days, almost like a toddler who’s exhausted his anger and is now just grumpy. That also might have been because it was 6 AM.

Matt, who got shoved into Chilled, had a different problem. His waffles were now on his shirt. Sure, his different problem should have been that Chilled’s hands were a little too tight on his shoulders and that Michael and Toast we’re going to fight over two eggs, but his waffles held a higher priority than any of those.

Before Matt got to expel his anger, a shout from behind him startled him into stopping. “Hey!” Chilled’s voice had everyone in the room frozen, except for Ze who continued to sip his coffee. “If you’re going to have this petty little dick measuring contest, take it outside or some shit. And before you start, apologize to Matt, ruined the dude’s morning even though he tried to be nice, and for what? If you’re still pissed over the night at the bar, get over it. A job’s a job.”

Matt was suddenly really appreciative of Chilled’s presence because he knew that the other’s would have brushed his complaints off. Michael’s jaw was set as he fidgeted besides Toast. 

“Yeah my bad dude, sorry about that.” Toast apologized, “I can make you something else to eat while you get cleaned up. As a better apology.”

Matt went to say it’s fine but was interrupted by Michael, “Let me help, that was my fault anyway.” His voice was softer, any grumpy anger from before dissipating.

There was a sigh from behind Matt as Chilled removed himself from the situation, sliding from behind Matt and out of the room entirely. A mumbled, “Jesus Christ,” was all that was heard. Matt decided that Chilled wasn’t actually a shitty dude.

Fiona never forgot the face of the guy who took Alfredo down. It may have been because Alfredo was knocked out with the butt of a gun, and the idea of a weapon being that close to her friend had her anxious, but it was probably because neither expected the situation. So seeing that face again, in the meeting for the heist, had sent her on edge.

The past few days had her double checking corners, listening intently to the footsteps outside her door, and in fact for the first whole day she never left her room.

Day four, around midday, was the first time someone had knocked on her door. Fiona opened the door, lock still intact, and peered through the crack. Standing there, shifting on his feet, was the guy who had attacked her and Alfredo that night. His demeanor was nervous, as if he couldn’t take down her and another grown man himself. Fiona noted the other girl standing beside him.

She waved, her short dark hair bouncing. “Hello! Myself and Ze are inviting everyone to our little dinner gathering and we’re wondering if you would want to come? It’s the night before the meeting, just kind of a time for us to chill before everything you know?”

“And I also wanted to apologize for that night at the bar. I don’t know if saying it wasn’t personal would be helpful or not, but I promise that I’m not normally like that,” Ze mumbled, his voice quieter than Shubble’s.

Fiona narrowed her eyes, every part of her saying to slam the door closed and to never come back out again. But the little Geoff that lived on her shoulder piped up with some advice. Fiona sighed, relaxing just a little as she held the doorknob tight in her hand. “Yeah, I’ll go. But I might need some time before I can accept that apology.”

“Of course, take your time.” Ze said, nodding his head in understanding.

Did that make her feel any better? Who’s to say?

Three nights before the meeting, and the night prior to the potluck dinner, you’d have thought the running of the bulls had started in the building. 

Geoff and Jack, who had been deep into sleep, rushed out of their room at the sound of screaming. Their rooms were across from each other so they made eye contact before running down the hallway towards the living area. The screaming and yelling got louder, but more distinct, until they both realized it was mostly Michael screaming ‘Get Fucked!’ over and over again.

Jack rounded the corner seeing everyone sprawled out across the couches, almost all of them focused on the TV. She turned to see what exactly was so invigorating and had everyone yelling and she saw they were playing Smash Bros. on the screen.

She sighed, turning to see Geoff enter the room. The small smile on his face was comforting as they took in the sight of everyone there.

Michael was sat between Matt and Tom Fawkes, who were having the fight of a lifetime, waving his controller around wildly. Gavin had taken a seat in front of Michael, and next to him, head on his shoulder, was Fiona who had managed to doze off. Lindsay sat on the other couch, playing with Trevor’s hair as the two watched everyone fight. Chilled was frowning, the controller in his hand tossed to the side as he was sent flying off the screen and Ze was curled up on the ground in front of him, head resting on Chilled’s knee. Tay and Alfredo were going to town on a plate of chicken wings, laughing at everyone else in the room. 

Decidedly, Jack pushed Geoff back towards the hallway. “I think they’re fine.”

“I’m glad everything’s going well.” Geoff mumbled, following Jack.

Jack nodded, “Luckily if things go sour later, we’ll still have that leverage right?”

Geoff snorted, reaching his bedroom, “Of course, leverage is leverage.”

The sound of laughter and cheering in the penthouse became commonplace which was a great change of pace to how it all started. Going back to the first day and comparing it to the current night, you'd have thought everyone was replaced by clones. 

Each interaction was surprisingly wholesome, from Shubble, Tay, and Fiona having a girl's night to the funny MarioKart tournament where betting was encouraged. 

The huge dinner night was a great time to really take in the blooming new alliances between everyone. 

Toast and Michael, who only last week were at each other's throats, sat besides each other willingly. Gavin and Alfredo joined into their conversation, the group of them had become as thick as thieves.

At one end of the table, Fiona, Lindsay, Shubble and Tay had congregated and were talking gossip with each other. Every few moments that would pass there would be a chorus of laughter from Tay and Fiona which helped lighten the mood even further.

At the other end sat Chilled, Ze, Tom, Geoff, Jack and Trevor who were talking about the heist in whispers so the rest of the room didn't have their mood soured by work. 

Shubble and Jack had gotten up to get the food, passing out plates and putting out drinks for everyone. 

Before everyone started eating, excluding Toast who stuffed some bread into his mouth, they looked towards the business end of the table. 

Geoff stood up and cleared his throat. His eyes catching on each person around the table before he raised his hands into the air slowly.

"Dig in bitches."

Laughter filled the room and the sound of forks hitting the plate joined them.


	5. chapter five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and so it begins :)

The elevator ride was quiet. Shelby adjusted her suit, grip tight on the briefcase in her hand.

Tay nudged her with her shoulder, "You ok?"

"Of course, we've just got to run this perfectly and it's a lot of stress." She said, the ding of the elevator ringing out before the door opened up.

The floor in front of them was busy. Quiet, but busy. Each person rushing past a different desk to drop off papers, phone's ringing, hushed voices. None of them distinct enough to make out a conversation so who knows what those calls were about.

Shelby pressed forward, walking out of the elevator. She started scanning the room for someone to tell them where to go as Tay followed behind.

A man in a navy suit and dark hair pulled into a topknot looked down at the duo, his face wasn't welcoming at all. His entire presence was cold, calculating. "Can I help you two?"

Tay nodded her head before leaning onto Shelby for effect, "You have any coffee?"

"Actually," Shubble interrupted. The man's attention moved from Tay to her. "We're here on behalf of Chilled Chaos-"

"Well why didn't you open with that!" A different voice joined in. A new man walked up beside his coworker, a dark grey suit hung off his shoulders and black slacks pooled at his ankles. It wasn't tailored to fit which surprised Shebly considering everything she had heard of Hughes. 

He extended his hand, "Hughes, Wolfgang Hughes."

Definitely not what Shelby had pictured going into this. He was young and fit, his face was soft and friendly. But she wondered if that's what people thought of Chilled when they first meet him, he always seemed to welcome people with a friendly attitude.

Tay reached forward and grabbed his hand, shaking it roughly. Shelby smiled and followed her action, "Nice to meet you, Mr. Hughes."

"Mr. Hughes is my father, stereotypical I know," He said, face flushing red. "You can call me Erik."

"But you said your name was Wolfgang? Where'd Erik come from?" Tay asked. 

His smile fell a little, "It's my middle name. If we're through here I'd like to talk business."

"Of course, lead the way." Shelby said, motioning with her hand for him to continue.

Hughes nodded before walking towards a hallway. It was then that the two girls noticed the target, both of their facades dropping for a moment. 

Trudging behind Hughes, stood in nothing more than a wife beater and jeans, was Rimmy Tim. Jeremy. Their face was tired and it was obvious they hadn't groomed their face recently, their beard was long and in disarray.

"You see, I was so excited getting that phone call from you. Chilled Chaos has been such an inspiration for me," Hughes said. His voice was loud enough to carry behind him and shocked Shelby out of the daze she was in.

She made a noise of agreement, "I was so excited to get this job, it's been amazing working beside him."

"Eh," Tay mumbled. 

A cough from behind them so that navy suit man could alert to his presence. 

Hughes opened a door and motioned for everyone to file in, "Ignore him. That's my assistant, Seth Cross."

Tay shot a glance at Shubble as she sat down. She fidgeted with her shirt, making sure the microphone hadn't fallen. Shelby adjusted her frame and placed the briefcase on the floor next to her. 

Hughes walked in, closing the door behind him. Tay shifted in her seat as she heard the click of the lock.

Chilled covered his mouth with a hand, the other pressed to the headphone on his ear. Ze sat across from him, head in his hands as they listened.

Geoff made a noise, "He's a lot less pompous when dealing with other people."

"Yeah," Chilled mumbled. 

_ "You know, I couldn't sleep last night because I was thinking about all the different things Chilled and I could do together."  _ Hughes said. Everyone in the room looked to Matt who shook his head, just as the blueprints said there wasn't a single camera in the room.  _ "The smartest minds in Los Santos working together, amazing don't you agree?" _

_ "Of course, he's definitely one of the best,"  _ Shubble said. Her voice hadn't left that cheery tone since she entered the building, and hopefully all the sucking up would pay off.

_ "Sounds a little homo if you asked me…"  _ Tay mumbled. Ze sighed and Geoff pressed the palm of his hands to his temples. 

_ "Pardon?"  _ Hughes asked.

The sound of rustling followed by a "Nothing." was his answer.

Tom fidgeted with his glasses and hair once again, "Jesus Christ Tay."

"That's exactly what we need, him agro on someone." Chilled said sarcastically.

_ "So he sent his assistants ahead of time, was there a purpose?" _

_ "He's out of town at the moment and was hoping you'd be nice enough to talk to us before him. Can't trust the ones that are mean to the assistants."  _ Shubble said, laughing lightly.  _ "He was also wondering if there was something  _ **_you_ ** _ wanted to collaborate on, just as a test. You know how crime bosses are." _

_ "I do, I do."  _ Hughes said, he seemed curious. Something about what she had said caught his attention, good.

_ "Who's the little guy?"  _ Tay asked.  _ "Another assistant of yours?" _

There was a collective groan and facepalm throughout the room. Matt slouched further into his chair, laughing into his hands. 

_ "Not quite, but I do think Mr. Chilled would be interested in helping me figure out what to do with him,"  _ Hughed mused.  _ "Do you know who the Fake AH Crew are ladies?" _

Jack made a face as Shubble told him no.

_ "Ah, well you see, they're enemies of mine. And this one is theirs, I'm using him as a gambling chip. I would have been sure Chilled would know of them, in fact I'd think they were at odds themselves." _

_ "We don't deal with that part of the company,"  _ Shubble said.  _ "We just run errands for Mr. Bossman." _

"She's good at this," Geoff mumbled. He rerolled his sleeves for the third time, "Able to diffuse the situation and gather information at the same time."

"It's her expertise," Ze said.

_ "Ah, I see."  _ Hughes said.  _ "Well, I'd like to extend that the first thing we do together would be get rid of this little crick in my neck, don't you think?" _

_ "Of course! I can send him that message as soon as this is over, on the ride back even."  _ Shubble said. 

_ “Sounds perfect! Him and I can talk in more details later about it then, sound good?”  _ Hughes asked. Chilled nodded, leaning back in his chair.

_ “Amazing, I’m glad we got to talk.”  _ Shubble said.

_ “Brief meetings are the best aren’t they, not too much flowery language or unnecessary pleasantries. Do you know when Chilled Chaos will be back in town? Maybe I’m being optimistic but I’d like to schedule the next meeting as soon as possible if that’s not too much,”  _ Hughes said.

_ “He flies back next Friday and to my knowledge is free all next Saturday.”  _ Shubble responded.

There’s the sound of snapping fingers and that low voice of Cross comes in through the mic,  _ “Next Saturday is free to my knowledge, Erik.” _

_ “Perfect, next Saturday is a go then?” _

_ “I will check in with Mr. Chaos as soon as possible, and if something comes up I’ll be sure to call,”  _ Shubble responded.

Geoff took off his headphones, placing them gently on the table. “Sounds to me like we’re in business.”

Chilled nodded, “Of course, I wouldn’t make promises I can’t keep.”

“This next week we can take time to go over the extraction plan and run test drills, everything should be do-able except for the obvious,” Jack said, motioning towards Chilled who was cracking his knuckles.

He reached up and fixed his hat, “Sounds good to me.”

Shelby practically melted in the passenger seat. Toast turned around so he could back out of the parking garage, “How’d it go?”

“Too well.” Tay said, slouching in the back seat. She threw her legs up on the middle console, “That assistant of his seems to take ass kissing as a professional sport, did you notice that?”

“They both seem to almost idolize Chilled too, I thought that was weirder.” Shelby returned, throwing the suit jacket she had on into the back of the car.

Tay sat up, leaning in between the front seats, “Oh my fucking god yeah, that was so weird.”

“It’ll suck more when Chilled betrays him that same meeting,” Toast said absentmindedly. He turned out of the garage and onto the highway, driving towards the penthouse for a regrouping. “You said his assistant was weird?”

“Oh hell yeah,” Tay said. “If you stop for McDonald’s I’ll tell you more.”

Toast rolled his eyes before turning off at the next exit that had a McDonald’s down it.

**Author's Note:**

> Any characterizations I've gathered from these people is from my own viewing from the past 7 years, if Chilled and friend's are a little off that's because I recently started watching their content so I'm still learning!


End file.
